Back to my roots

The last time I had a favorite food, I'm pretty sure it was macaroni & cheese.

Memories of going to my Grandma's house and helping her add mustard to the homemade cheese sauce are some of my fondest-- I'd get to taste the sauce after each delicate spoonful of Gulden's spicy brown was added, and always suggested we add more. Making cheese sauce with Grandma was a ritual that was ours alone; she was always good at finding special things to do with each granddaughter. I'm pretty sure they all involved food.

One of the first things I successfully eliminated during my lactose intolerance revelation was macaroni & cheese; this was before I truly understood what my lactose triggers were, and how much lactose was in the various dairy products. Since Cabot began marketing their cheddar as lactose-free (very smart of them, since all cheddar is essentially lactose-free), I have fully embraced eating it on eggs and pasta, which has been glorious. A couple of weeks ago I experienced a true mac & cheese craving... and gave in. This recipe is markedly different than my Grandma's (she used Velveeta, WTF), but it includes mustard!

Ingredients (serves 1)
1.5 cups dry pasta (I  use a mix of whole wheat and tri-color)
1/2 cup almond milk (plain, unsweetened)
1-2 tbsp. butter
1 tbsp. all-purpose flour
1/2 cup grated extra-sharp cheddar cheese
salt and spicy brown mustard, to taste

Method: Cook pasta and set aside. Melt butter in small sauce pan and stir in flour; add milk in increments, stirring after each pour. Stir constantly to avoid clumps. Once all the milk is added and the sauce is thick, add cheddar and spicy brown mustard to taste. Add pasta to pot, stir to coat, and sprinkle with salt. Lactose-free mac & cheese, y'all!!

(Note: 1 tbsp. of butter has .01 grams lactose)

Spring farro risotto

Of course I would find a way to make risotto healthier. I'm not sure if that makes me hate or love myself, but either way this meal was bangin. 

Ingredients - Serves 2

1 cup farro

1-2 tbsp. butter

1 leek, chopped

1 clove garlic, minced

2/3 cup white wine

3 cups chicken stock 

1 cup green peas

1 bunch asparagus, chopped

squeeze of lemon

parmesan 

salt & pepper to taste

Make this like you would make risotto. Do I have to write it out? I'm so tired. All I can think about is discourse analysis and politeness theory. Oh, one thing I did is steam the asparagus separately so I could add it to the farro in portions instead of all at once (so it wouldn't get brown and overcooked in my leftovers). You're welcome.

Bedtime snack

Bedtime snack on repeat: greek yogurt, maple-agave syrup, THE BEST GRANOLA EVER (Dorset Cereals Honey Granola), fresh strawberries, and a splash of almond milk.

And, though today I am thankful that my dearest sister is safe, I know that's not the case for many others. I pray they can take comfort in the One who redeems all things.

And as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, 
And at the last He will take His stand on the earth. 
Even after my skin is destroyed, 
Yet from my flesh I shall see God: 
Whom I myself shall behold, 
And whom my eyes shall see and not another. 
Psalm 19:25-27

The poetics of things

One of my favorites:

Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Mary Oliver, Dream Work

AppleBucks

This weekend, I passed by a man snorting coke in the middle of a street just outside Chinatown. It was sunny, windy -- early in the morning. Nate and I were walking to Chinatown Coffee, where we bought a a big pot of French press and sat at a table amongst hipsters, listening to old school rap. He ate gourmet potato chips; I ate yogurt and granola. It was kind of a bizarre morning. 

Later that day we walked to the botanical gardens near the Capitol, which we stumbled upon accidentally after visiting the Museum of the American Indian. It totally sucked. The botanical gardens were amazing though, and it made me thankful all over again for living in such a cool city, and for the chance to explore it with my best friend. If Nate had moved to DC with me back in 2011, I don't think we would have ended up doing all these touristy things that we do whenever he visits. I think we would have felt like we had all the time in the world to see the sights, and we would have taken them for granted. So I'm thankful for that, too-- I like that even though we've been apart, we have all these memories of discovering the city together, across so many different seasons. 

This morning, for his last breakfast (before he comes again next weekend for his interview), I made buckwheat pancakes. I'd never made real pancakes before, so I'm not sure what made me want to try... especially because I don't believe in cake for breakfast. Everything in moderation? Anyway, I used a mix, added grated apple, and they were delicious! Then, Nathan and I walked to J.Crew and he bought the most beautiful suit... I almost threw up, I was so panicked about the price and simultaneously excited about how good he looked in it. 

Photo cred (including the staging):
Nathan Lockett

Apple Buckwheat Pancakes (serves 2-3)

1 1/3 cups organic buckwheat pancake mix
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
4 tsp canola oil
1 tsp honey
1 1/2 cups almond milk
splash of vanilla
cinnamon to taste
2 medium apples, coarsely grated

Combine all ingredients, fry in batches on lightly greased pan.

These are delightfully thick, and amazing drizzled with syrup and almond butter. Nate ate 3. I ate 6. Just kidding I also ate 3, what?! Where's my appetite?

Pasta with lemon yogurt sauce

I finally decided that I should make some of the recipes I post on pinterest each day, which explains the influx of new creations in my diet, and on my last post. I almost wrote "on my posts lately" but realized that was a liiiitttle on the optimistic side. 

Having recently discovered that greek yogurt serves as a great substitute for traditionally cream and milk-filled pasta sauces, I threw together this lemony concoction last week: 

I used this recipe as a guide-- all the same ingredients minus the Parmesan, but I didn't really measure anything. I do know that I added way more zucchini than I was supposed to (sexcellent choice) and sprinkled cilantro on top (it was about to go off, as my British/German roommate says). The cilantro was kind of random, but it's essentially my favorite food so whatevs-- like mother, like daughter. I think I probably made enough for two servings according to the recipe, but ate it all in one sitting.

In other news, Georgetown announced their five-year financial plan this week, which includes a freeze on all staff salaries, but not on faculty. Everyone is up in arms! There have been lots of meetings and petitions (most  of them spearheaded by the faculty and deans) but I've been too busy to get involved. As soon as the plan was announced Deborah kindly assured me that she would make sure I received a raise each year out of her own pocket if the decision wasn't reversed, so I feel at ease. But I feel terrible for everyone else!

Also, I gave Schuy a bath this week. He smells like grapefruit. And I'm anxiously waiting for the Dunham twinz to arrive.

AND-- I get to hang with my man this weekend!

Recipes I've tried lately and liked

 

This Grapefruit and Olive oil cake. 

These Masala lentils -- I increased the amount of lentils to almost a cup, and used a full can of both tomatoes (diced instead of stewed) and coconut milk. 

This Broccoli soup -- I increased the amount of broth to 4 cups, used a little over a pound of broccoli, and added a couple handfuls of fresh spinach. I didn't add parmesan, but definitely splurged on pine nuts this week! Next time I think I'll swap leeks for the onion.

Lactose-friendly Vodka Sauce

I'm just going to ignore the fact that I haven't posted since October.

THIS PASTA SAUCE IS DELICIOUS. I don't think I've had vodka sauce since college... this one is packed with healthy protein, and it's amazingly creamy. I should probably mention that it might not actually taste like vodka sauce [college was 5 years ago], but I seriously loved it.

What to do:

Whisk equal parts marinara sauce (I used TJ's pomodoro sauce) and plain Greek yogurt.
Toss in some red pepper flakes and salt.
Pour over cooked pasta (mine also had kale thrown in because I needed to use it up).
Devour.

Maybe I'll post again next week.

pumpkin carrot chocolate chip muffins

Okay so.... I am the worst blogger ever. I made these muffins when Meghan visited weeks ago, and am just now getting around to posting the recipe. To be fair, it took me a very long time to go back and search through all the recipes I looked at before making these to try and remember what I actually used in the final product. The good news is these are pretty much my own recipe! The bad news is I'm not positive that these measurements are exact. In any case, these muffins are AWESOME. Dense, and not too sweet. Perfect for breakfast or snack or dessert!

umm... I didn't take this photo, i found it online. #sryimnotsry

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup oats
1 can pumpkin (14 oz)
1 cup finely shredded carrot
1 egg
3/4 cup almond milk
1/3 cup canola oil
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sucanat (or white sugar)
1/2 chocolate chips



Combine dry ingredients. Mix oats, pumpkin, carrot, egg, and milk and add to dry ingredients. Mix in chocolate chips. Pour into muffin tins-- the batter is quite thick and doesn't really rise so it's fine to fill these close to the top. Bake at 375 for... I have no idea. Until they're done. I'm thinking 20 minutes? Test them with a fork. Eat them crumbled on top of banana soft-serve or yogurt, or plain, of course!

P.S. I don't care about this shizzz, but making them with sucanat lowers the calorie content and is better for you or something.  Sucanat is whole cane sugar instead of the refined and processed stuff we typically use. All the vegans are doing it. You could do it too, if you want.

Banana pancakes

I kind of want to eat these every day. Here's what's in 'em: 

6 eggs, beaten

2 ripe bananas, mashed

1 tbsp. chia seed

4 tbsp. oat bran

cinnamon

Combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly. Melt some butter in a small fry pan (enough to coat the pan) over low to medium heat. Pour about 1/3 cup of the batter into the pan-- cook until browned, covered. WATCH THAT PANCAKE CAREFULLY. Flip it. Repeat. Serve with peanut butter (my favorite), cookie butter, maple syrup, jam, pumpkin butter, or whipped cream. Or eat them plain, seriously. This recipe makes 6 pancakes. 

AND THEY'RE HEALTHY. 

SOMETHING FISHY

Confession - I'm not great at cooking fish. I'm not great at cooking meat, either, which could be one of the reasons why I rarely make it. However, I'm proud to announce that I seriously crushed this recipe (or my variation of it, at least); it was sooo good. Baking fish in foil at high heat will definitely be my go-to method from now on. I'm already brainstorming all the delicious variations I can create! The tilapia was flaky and perfect, the vegetables were colorful and filled with flavor, and the touch of balsamic vinegar added the perfect tangy-ness. I'm used to dousing fish in lemon, but this needed absolutely no extra embellishment. MAKE THIS FISH. 

Ingredients (serves 1)

1 tilapia filet (approx. 4 oz)

1/2 zucchini, cut into 3 inch matchsticks

1/2 cup mini heirloom tomatoes, halved

1/3 cup loosely packed basil leaves, chopped

1 clove garlic, thinly sliced

1/4 lemon, juiced

extra virgin olive oil

balsamic vinegar

salt, pepper, oregano to taste

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Combine zucchini, tomatoes, garlic and basil in a bowl with the lemon juice, drizzle of olive oil, and a pinch of salt and oregano. Toss to coat, and set aside. Place the tilapia on a large sheet of aluminum foil and pour the veggies on top and around it - finish off with a liberal sprinkling of balsamic vinegar, and some salt and pepper. Wrap the foil around the fish so it forms a tight packet - it's important that no steam escapes! Bake for 15 minutes and serve.

Quick Breakfast Shot

Clearly this picture is terrible, but omg how delicious does that melty peanut butter look as it spills out onto the chocolatiest oats of all time? One of these days I'll get around to posting an actual recipe, I swear.

Tired grad students eat...

Roasted sweet potatoes and broccoli drizzled with homemade vegan cheese sauce. This meal wasn't phenomenal, but I literally did not care at all.

Beans a la Morocco

Sometimes I think the title of this blog should be "Varying combinations of Beans and Cilantro" or "How to Eat Daal Once a Week and Not Get Sick of It." This next recipe is typical, but incredible. And, if we're going to be picky, I rarely eat chickpeas except in hummus, so maybe I'm a bit of a rebel this week? Quarter life crises will do that to you, I guess. Anyway, I followed this recipe almost exactly, except for a few changes because I was a) cheap or b) forgetful. Compare if you like, because the original could be better.


Moroccan Chickpea Stew

This picture is terrible because it was taken on my phone. 

2 tbsp. olive oil
2 cloves garlic, lightly crushed
1 cup onion, thinly sliced
1/4 cup dried apricots, sliced
1/2 tbsp. garam masala
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. black pepper
1/8 tsp. red pepper flakes
1/8 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 cup water
3/4 tsp. lemon zest
3/4 tbsp. lemon juice
1 15 oz. can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 15 oz. can diced tomatoes (unsalted)
3 cups endive, torn into 1/2 inch pieces
fresh cilantro
toasted almond pieces


Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add oil to pan; swirl to coat. Add garlic; cook for 1 minute, stirring constantly. Remove garlic from pan using a slotted spoon; discard or reserve for another use (aka wait for it to cool and then pop it in your mouth). Add onion and next 6 ingredients (through cinnamon) to pan; sauté for 7 minutes or until the onion is lightly browned, stirring occasionally. Add water, lemon zest, juice, chickpeas, and tomatoes; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer for 7 minutes, stirring occasionally. Lastly, stir in endive; simmer for 1 minute or until endive wilts. Remove from heat. Sprinkle with cilantro and almonds. Serve over couscous or quinoa (with raita on the side, obvi.)

THIS WAS FREAKING AMAZING. I had enough for about 3 servings, and I am sooo excited for the next time I make it.

1. 
   

Ignore this if you don't want to hear me whine

There have been times in my life when I thought I'd like to go back and relive experiences because I missed them so much. I remember after college wishing I could start at the beginning, but ultimately realized that I was glad I had finished and I didn't actually, really want to relive all of it again.

Now, I'm beginning to understand that it must actually be over with Nate, because every part of me wishes I could go back and have each experience I had with him over again, with no thought for the future or for the ways it would set me back in my life. I wish I could live on a circuit, where I just replay the two years we had together in Ithaca, and even the year we had together after I moved. I wouldn't even necessarily change anything to make it better, although I can say definitively that none of it was perfect. I just want it again. And again, and again.

I took this picture off my nightstand today.  Little by little I've tried to remove pieces of him from my life; I hide the miscellaneous tee shirts in bins beneath my bed, I slip birthday cards into the pages of books I've already read. I'm just hoping that I won't accidentally unearth them until I'm ready to throw them out. But that thought in itself- that I want that moment to come, that I want to forget him absolutely- makes my heart hurt. 

Weekend breakfast I'm loving lately...

Fried eggs, sharp cheddar cheese, and salsa. 

So salty and satisfying after a run! 

Eggless Fried Rice

This week I found myself with leftover zucchini, onion, and mushrooms-- I chopped them all into tiny pieces and fried them with butter, sesame oil, soy sauce, garlic, black pepper and leftover brown rice, and then added shrimp sauteed in lemon and soy sauce. I forgot the egg, but this meal was still delicious and easy; plus, it was created solely with ingredients I had on hand! New life plan: open Hibachi restaurant.

Blehhhh

I count the hours as they pass

one by one.  My feet

fall in line, miles to work and back.

Evenings ring of dinners prepared

and eaten,

of arms around me in the

kitchen,

bottles of wine shared in noisy

restaurants,

the mornings side by side.

I greet the sun with resolve.

I insist on forgetting.

Hour by hour I close my mind to you,

open it and breathe,

close it to you again. 

Going through the motions

I'm still eating. 

Proof:

I basically copied this recipe, except I measured everything to taste and eliminated the red pepper. 

Creamy and delicious. 

Because I feel bad for not posting about anything food-related in so long...

This is a bit of an atypical meal for me-- leftover buffalo chicken chili mixed with whole wheat pasta and topped with cheddar cheese. It tasted super unhealthy, and I think maybe it was. It was one of my last meals in my old apartment (aka like 3 weeks ago) and I honestly forget what I put in it, but this recipe seems similar. 

In other news, Schuy hates running in the heat and has been downright depressed about it. Thank god Nate is coming to take him back to Ithaca for the next 6 weeks before he starts considering suicide.