The Last Supper

In a mad rush to clean out my fridge last night before going home (!) for ten days I threw together an interesting meal...

Course 1: carrots, tomatoes, kalamata olives, and cilantro jalepeno hummus

Course 2: leftover roasted potatoes and brussels sprouts with garlic and nutritional yeast

Course 3: TJ's fro-yo with plain greek yogurt, pumpkin butter, almond butter, and granola 

(Please note that I ate it straight out of the yogurt container)

Course 4 isn't pictured, but it consisted of frozen cookie dough, which was classy. 

Gumbo so good you'll cry.

I know, this picture is kinda lame. But really, this gumbo is sooo good! Make-it-for-dinner-guests good. I was a little nervous about tackling this recipe since my previous attempt to make New Orleans style shrimp ended in tears (I'm not even joking about that, it's one of Nate's favorite stories to tell). After successfully making this gumbo, though, I realized my aforementioned catastrophe was due to the roux, which I did not take seriously the first time. For this go-round I stood at the stove for 40 minutes stirring the damn flour/oil mixture until it was the loveliest chocolate brown color... my hand hurt from the constant whisking, and I contemplated abandoning it. I was deathly afraid that this would result in kitchen failure, but surprisingly the amount of work that went into the soup was well worth it. Here's the recipe, which I revised slightly:

Ingredients

3/4 pound jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined with tails removed
32 oz. chicken stock
1/2 pound andouille sausage, cut into 1/4 inch slices (I used chicken andouille sausage from TJ's)
canola oil
1/2 cup white flour
1/2 of an onion, chopped
1/2 of a green pepper, chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
1 cup frozen okra 
2 minced garlic cloves
1 bay leaf
1 tsp. creole seasoning (I made my own by combining 1/4 tsp. each of paprika and salt, then a pinch each of onion powder, basil, oregano, thyme, and black pepper)
1/4 tsp. thyme
1 tsp. cayenne pepper (more or less to taste) 
1/2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce

Method

Cook sausage in a fry pan with a little bit of oil until browned. Set aside, and pour drippings into a measuring cup. Add extra oil to measure 1/2 cup, and then pour into a large pot over medium-low heat and stir in flour. Continue stirring mixture for 35 to 40 minutes; you'll be tempted to add more oil in the beginning stages to thin it out, but try not to! Just keep stirring, and eventually it will turn into a sauce. Once it's the color of melted chocolate, stir in onion, green pepper, celery, and garlic. Saute for 5 minutes or so, and then add the broth, bay leaf, seasonings, and okra. Reduce heat and simmer for 45 minutes (if you want you can skim off the fat while the gumbo cooks, which I did, somewhat half-heartedly). Finish by adding the shrimp and sausage--when the shrimp is pink, it's ready to serve over rice or cornbread. This gumbo is riiichhh, so a little goes a long way!

Oat bran, My love

Newest oat bran combo: 

bananas, dried cranberries, 

cinnamon raisin peanut butter, pumpkin pie spice mix, 

maple/agave syrup blend

Ah. Make it.

Holler, Moosewood

After a hard day of work on Friday filled with departmental events and a GRE practice test during my lunch break, I was in the mood for some serious comfort food by the time I got home. Despite the fact that I still needed to study and learn at least half of the 300 vocabulary words I'd made flash cards for, I allowed myself the luxury of making one of my favorite soups. This is a Moosewood recipe that combines two of my favorite ingredients: olives and beans. The mixture sounds bizarre, it's true, but this recipe is one of those rare soups that is both light and filling, with the perfect ratio of chunkiness to broth. After the initial chopping frenzy it's ready within 40 minutes, leaving the vegetables somewhat crunchy (waayyyy better than soft, in my opinion). Disclaimer: I'm pretty liberal when it comes to measurements. I probably used more of each vegetable than what the recipe calls for.

Ingredients:

1 cup chopped onion
1 cup chopped zucchini
1/2 cup chopped red pepper
1/2 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped carrot
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 1/2 tsp. oregano
1 1/2 tsp. basil
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. black pepper
3 cups water
1 cup chicken stock
1/2 small can tomato paste
1/4 cup dry red wine
1 tbsp. lemon juice
2 cups cooked white beans (I used 1 cup dry Great Northern beans that I pre-soaked all day and then cooked for about 30 minutes)
1 cup chopped black olives
1/3 cup chopped kalamata olives

Saute vegetables and spices in olive oil (about 2 tbsp.) for 5 - 10 minutes. Add remainder of ingredients and simmer for 30 minutes. This would be great with crusty bread, but I ate it solo!

More Crappy Photos!

Oatmeal is my favorite food. Look at this beautiful bowl filled with rolled oats, chopped apple, cashew almond peanut butter, cinnamon, and brown sugar:

Georgetown is my favorite campus. Check out the view of my school from the Key Bridge:

You may have noticed the poor quality of my pictures as of late....that would be due to my inability to upload any edited photos. Further evidence of my computer's slow but sure demise into ruin! Currently the screen goes black if I try to push it open past a 90 degree angle, which feels like vacation compared to last week's angle max of 45 degrees. Did I mention the broken disk drive and volume keys? LOVE MY LIFE. No but seriously, I do, just not my computer. 

And Everything Nice

I've been in love with sage ever since my sisters and I hosted Thanksgiving two years ago. I remember staying up late with Becky the night before, peeling potatoes and yams over the garbage can. We were listening to Spice Girls pandora and screaming singing our favorite songs from middle school while we prepped the gourmet dishes that would be on the menu the next day. The following afternoon we poured browned butter that had been infused with fresh sage into the yukon gold and sweet potato mixture and whipped it together into the tastiest dish of all time. With that in mind, and in an effort to cook seasonally, I decided to buy pumpkin puree this week and adapted (another) Rachael Ray recipe to create this  pumpkin sage pasta sauce:

I added sauteed mushrooms to the leftovers!

Ingredients

Olive Oil
1 lb. ground veal
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1 bay leaf
6 sprigs of sage, cut into strips
1 cup dry white wine
1 cup chicken stock
1 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 cup almond milk
1/8 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
salt and pepper




I started by sauteeing the veal in just a little olive oil until it was mostly cooked. I transferred it from the pan to a plate, and poured the excess fat down the drain. I added a tbsp. or so of olive oil to the pan and began cooking the garlic and onion until they were tender, then added the wine, bay leaf and sage. I let the sauce simmer until it had reduced a little before adding the chicken stock, pumpkin, and veal. I stirred the sauce ferociously until it was well-blended, then added the rest of the ingredients and let it simmer for 5 minutes. I served this over whole wheat penne, and froze 2 other servings of the sauce. It was yummy, but not as flavorful as I expected... I think partly because I used veal instead of the sweet Italian sausage that Rachael recommended--I was trying to be fancy, plus I kind of hate sweet Italian sausage. Next time I'll try hot Italian sausage, which I think will add the necessary richness and flavor that I'm looking for. The whole heavy cream component would probably help with that too, but let's be honest, creamy pasta is probably the most problematic food category for me on the planet. Need I remind you of my stay in the bathroom at the Olive Garden in Binghamton circa summer 2008?

Exotic Leftovers

 What To Do When You Have to Buy a Whole Package of Prosciutto Even Though You Only Want to Use One Slice for Your Boyfriend's Breakfast Sandwich:

1. Brush a chicken breast lightly with olive oil and sprinkle with black pepper. Wrap it in a slice of prosciutto and bake for 15 minutes at 350. Serve with roasted rosemary potatoes and brussels sprouts.

 2. Cut prosciutto in small pieces and brown for 60 seconds in a pan. Add TJ's Arrabiata pasta sauce and simmer for for 3-5 minutes. Serve over whole wheat pasta (or spaghetti squash).

Next on my list? This Giada De Laurentiis recipe  .... can't wait to try it! 

Sweet Home

A small disclaimer- obviously I tired not to photograph the sketchy parts of my dwelling, including the ivy plants growing out of my carpet (yes, I am not exaggerating), the shower, which is too awful to joke about, and the fact that the kitchen counter is slowly but surely sinking into the floor beneath it. But, it's true I've collected some beautiful things over the last couple years of living on my own...

magazine rack- from Goodwill in Vermilion

papasan chair- originally Pottery Barn, bought off of Craigslist 

drapes- Mimi's Attic

cream chenille area rug- originally Urban Outfitters, bought at Mimi's Attic

 

                     bookcase- found in my parents barn, painted red and "antiqued" myself

vintage lamp and fleur-de-lys shade- Mimi's Attic

mint night stand- Mimi's Attic

antique metal bedframe- Craigslist (for $25!!)

bedding- Anthropologie

desk and bookshelf- Target

fern painting- original art by Kacey Stafford (gift from Mom!) 

area rug- Urban Outfitters (on sale plus free shipping!)

antique writing desk- found by Becky on the street in Brooklyn

yellow chair- formerly my roommate's, spray painted yellow

 

 

dish towels, apron, oven mitt- Anthropologie (gifts from Katie/Mom!)

hanging fruit basket- World Market 

enamel flower hooks- Pier 1 (birthday gift from Jordan!)

   

 

spice rack, utensil holder- World Market

corduroy G- bridesmaid gift from Jordan

Yeah, there's not much exciting going on in here.

I think I did pretty good with what I had to work with... but until I get a significant raise I'll continue to spend my time dreaming of hardwood floors, breezy windows, and kitchen drawers. 

Chipotle Chili

When I was grocery shopping this week I knew I was in the mood to make chili, but I hadn't found a go-to vegetarian recipe that was incredibly inspiring. So, I tossed 2 cans of kidney beans, 1 can of black beans, and 1 can of diced tomatoes in my shopping cart, knowing that they were sure to be included in whichever recipe I settled on. After some serious googling back at home I found a Whole Foods recipe that I adapted into something awesome-- seriously, this is the only vegetarian chili I will be making from now on. It's spicy and smoky, and includes a secret ingredient (which I discovered all by myself!) that is so perfect it almost feels like cheating.

Ingredients:

2 tbsp. olive oil
1 carrot
2 stalks celery
1 yellow onion
4 cloves garlic
1 green pepper
1 red pepper
1 tbsp. oregano
1 tbsp. chili powder
2 tsp. cumin
1.5 tsp. salt
1-2 tbsp. Tobasco chipotle pepper sauce
1 can diced tomatoes (28 oz)
1 can chopped green chiles (4.5 oz)
4 cups water
2 cans kidney beans
1 can black beans

Heat olive oil and add all the vegetables. Saute for 10 minutes and then add spices, including Tobasco sauce. Stir together and cook for a minute longer, then add tomatoes, chiles, and water. Bring to a boil and simmer for approximately 30 minutes, and then add beans. Cook for 20 minutes longer. Blend about 2/3 of the soup just slightly to break down the vegetables and beans, then add to the rest of the pot. Continue to simmer together until serving with brown rice or quinoa.

Ah, the joys of blending soups! It's always worth the extra clean up... even if that includes scrubbing your entire (albeit tiny) kitchen due to a hot soup-blender explosion. Blend carefully, folks, blend carefully.

Weekend

At the risk of sounding like a Jane Austen novel, this past weekend was lovely. The weather was beautiful, and on Saturday Schuyler and I walked to the local coffee shop and I studied for the GRE and drank an americano in the sunshine.

 

Later we went to Jordan and Jamie's house for dinner and Schuy got acquainted with Henry Moynihan. They played/wrestled a little at first but Schuy got annoyed and tired of it pretty quickly. It's sad to think that he's really not a puppy anymore; he was so calm and relaxed compared to feisty Henry!

I ate delicious meals, including tri-color pasta with shredded carrot, cheddar, and peas and a blueberry almond salad with balsamic vinaigrette:

AND I cleaned my apartment, which is almost ready to be unveiled...

More to come soon!

Pizza is (still) my Favorite Food

Recently I discovered Trader Joe's whole wheat pizza dough, which doesn't really help develop my dairy-free diet but definitely adds delicious simplicity to my dinners! One package of dough is $1.29. Yes, $1.29. When I got back from grocery shopping a couple weeks ago I divided the dough (enough for 8, regular-sized slices) into 3 portions and froze them in balls in saran-wrap. When I was ready to use it, the dough thawed perfectly in the fridge while I was at work, and once I rolled it out and added my toppings in the evening it only took 8 minutes or so to bake in a 450 degree oven. I've made two pizzas so far: goat cheese, chicken, kalamata olives, artichoke hearts, and tomato (see the terrible photo below) and cheddar (lactose free!), tomato, and black beans. Such an easy, satisfying meal!

Taking the Plunge

Aside from the fact that I left my camera at my friend Amy's apartment last weekend, I was also too busy making major life decisions this week to post anything. I met with the director of the Masters in Language and Communication program, Anna, and decided to apply for Fall 2012. It sounds far away, but all my application materials need to be submitted by January 1st, and I need to have a pretty bangin' application. Anna and I talked about my official statement of purpose, which needs to outline what I want to research and show that I know what I'm talking about. Ah! I haven't taken a linguistics class since 2008! But, before I dive into that, first you should know a little bit about the program.

The MLC is designed to train Discourse Analysts, who can be employed by various organizations or corporations to do consulting work in a specific field, generally health care or government. Because the whole "finding a job" concept is one of the main reasons I didn't consider going into a PhD or MA program in linguistics right after college, this program is pretty much perfect for me-- it's designed to get linguists out of academia and into the real workforce. It's also relatively short; it will take me around two and a half years to complete the program (part-time), including my Masters thesis. And, of course, it's completely free because I'm a full-time employee at Georgetown!

Okay, back to my statement of purpose and  one of the main reasons I'm interested in the program. What I'd like to do is be involved in health care consulting, particularly with facilities or hospitals that deal with eating disorders. I'd like to examine how the way we talk about food, or "frame" it (sorry, had to throw in some linguistic jargon), impacts weight loss and weight gain, as well as our concept of body image. I'm actually not sure how possible it is for me to find a job where I would only work in this facet of health care, but either way, this is what my Master's thesis will focus on (I think!)

Enough about the MLC... Here's what I ate this week:

-stuffed acorn squash with tex-mex white beans and rice (jalepeno, tomato, garlic, cayenne)
-baked salmon topped with mushrooms sauteed in red wine and soy sauce
-roasted brussels sprouts with olive oil, salt and pepper
-baked chicken breasts with fresh tomato, kalamata olives, and mushrooms, served with roasted red potatoes
-zucchini pancakes with scallions and lemon zest, served with lemon-caper-dill yogurt sauce.

And, because next week I'll be at home with my dog and I CAN'T WAIT:

Sunrise Daal

I saw the sun rise while I was running yesterday. I was going down MacArthur Boulevard towards the city and I watched the windows turn metallic orange on the high rises in Rosslyn; it reminded me of the 4th of July, when we sat on the grass in Georgetown next to the Potomac. Huge fireworks were exploding over the Washington Monument and reflecting off the buildings behind us, and it seemed like we were surrounded by glowing embers. I doubt I'll be seeing the sun much on my runs from now on, which I think means summer is officially leaving: I'm ready to eat soups and other hearty dishes every day! Lentil Daal is one of my favorites, and a recipe that I thought should probably be posted and immortalized since I make it every other week. It serves as a protein for me, which is something I'm always looking for. I've adjusted my recipe over the last couple months and have recently started replacing red lentils with yellow- I find the texture to be meatier, and the color brighter (hence, the title of this post!)

Ingredients

1 cup yellow lentils
4 cups water (use 3 cups water with red lentils)
1 tomato, cut in wedges
2 tbsp. oil
1/2 tsp. cumin seeds
1 medium onion, chopped (I use red, because I like the color)
5 cloves garlic, sliced
1 tsp. coriander
3/4 tsp. tumeric
1/2 tsp. cayenne
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tbsp. butter

Bring lentils, water, and tomato to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 30-45 minutes (yellow lentils will take longer than red). When lentils are almost done (the consistency should be fairly thick at this point, and it should be sputtering and popping a little), heat the oil and add the cumin seeds. Once the cumin seeds stop sputtering add the onion and garlic- cook for 4-5 minutes. Add the spices and cook for a couple minutes longer, then pour the mixture into the cooked lentils. Stir in the salt and butter- let the daal finish up over low heat for just a minute or two more (it's fine to take it off the heat at this point if you're worried about overcooking it). This recipe, along with brown rice, Indian Cabbage, and raita (lemon, yogurt, salt, cucumber, cilantro), is enough for three meals.

The most difficult thing about this dish is that there's not a lot of down time while you wait for the daal to cook. I'm usually furiously chopping onion or cabbage, making raita, and measuring spices. I leave the pot of lentils uncovered unless it looks like they aren't cooking fast enough, but especially at the beginning they have a tendency to get foamy and boil over, which is a huge mess, so leaving them uncovered allows me to check on them and prevent that from happening. Towards the middle/end of their cooking period you need to start stirring them frequently, as they tend to stick to the bottom. It's helpful to measure out all your spices beforehand, particularly if you're making this in combination with Indian Cabbage, which incorporates a lot of spices, too. Of course, if you're Rachael Ray or Rhonda Mapes you can just eye-ball it! I don't have a fantastic picture of my daal because I was too hungry to eat it after making it last night, but take a look instead at my mason jars filled with goodies (including yellow lentils):

I plan on posting more pictures of my little apartment soon, but I'm waiting to make a couple other changes before I broadcast my space to the world!

The Woes of Frozen Kale

Okay, so I don't have to tell you that I'm a huge fan of freezing things....I also love roasted kale, which I buy every other week. After the hurricane Trader Joe's shelves were devoid of tons of essentials, so I was forced to go to Safeway, the most expensive, poorly arranged store in the WORLD. I purchased the only remaining bag of kale left on the shelves- it was large enough to feed a family of 10. So, in an attempt to be extra thrifty last week, I froze my leftover kale in sandwich bags, as well as a portion of kale-coconut milk-kidney bean soup (which was delicious). Anyway, guess what doesn't freeze well? Kale. Earlier this week I eagerly emptied a sandwich bag onto a baking sheet, tossed it with olive oil, salt and pepper, and cumin, and roasted it in the oven. It ended up tasting like spicy, soggy lettuce. Then yesterday I tore into my leftover soup and I almost couldn't make it all the way through. If I wasn't poor I would have thrown it out, but luckily I believe in eating absolutely every single thing I purchase. How should I use up the rest? I was thinking of adding small portions of it to supplement my smoothies... but a disgusting smoothie would be almost too much to bear, so I'm not sure I can risk it.  Anyway, here's a picture of a sure mood-booster: Beef and mushroom stew, dill-yogurt smashed potatoes, and salad with raspberry vinaigrette. Plus, a lovely view of my desk!

And, although leaving work over 10 hours after arriving kind of sucks, I got to witness a beautiful sunset as I rode away on my bike:

                             

                                            I guess Georgetown isn't that bad after all.
          

Sweet Relief

Last week was the first time in 3 months that I was able to wear a tee shirt during my morning run. I've even experienced that cold-hands feeling a couple times, where I have to keep clenching my fists to get the blood circulating. I'm always soaked through with sweat by the end, of course (Deborah says I sweat so much because of my high metabolism?), but it feels like the seasons are changing, and I am ready. I think I could really love fall here: cool mornings and nights with warm, sunny days...it will make the heat of the summer worth it, I hope.

Okay, on to the food- before my trip home I made an incredible meal that I haven't had time to share until now. I adapted this recipe from Rachael Ray's Stretch a Buck Turkey and Bean Burrito Burgers:

Ingredients:

1/2 cup cooked brown rice
a little over 1/2 a pound ground turkey (sorry, I know that's vague)
1/2 can pinto beans
1 1/2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp coriander
salt and pepper to taste (unfortunately I don't remember these measurements, but knowing me, I probably put a lot in)

Method:

Combine the ingredients and form into patties (this recipe made three big ones!). Heat some olive oil in a pan and fry each patty, about 5-7 minutes per side. I served mine with homemade apricot lime salsa, roasted potatoes, and kale chips. Seriously, amazing. Andddd unfortunately I have no picture because it won't upload. It's a beautiful photo, though! Check out my awesome breakfast instead:

Oat bran, Hershey's special dark cocoa powder, coconut oil, TJ's Sunbutter, brown sugar, and raspberries. So glorious!

A Freezer Full of Goodness!

There's nothing I love more than a well-stocked freezer! That might not be true. But really, I have so many options right now that dinner has been a cinch each night this week. Not only do I have tons of delicious proteins tucked away, but I also have a variety of miscellaneous treats (which is what I'm most excited about!) Take a look at what I've got:

Two tilapia fillets, one andouille sausage, a fillet of

arctic char, half a pound of ground turkey, one portion of turkey and kidney bean chili, four black bean mushroom burgers, edamame (so delicious mixed with pasta, or as a simple side dish with salt or soy sauce), wild blueberries, banana, plums, raspberries, mangoes (all are wonderful additions to smoothies and morning oats), homemade m&m cookies (ready for baking to send to Nate!), french cut green beans, TJ's chicken dumplings, and last (BUT SO NOT LEAST) TJ's tart, non-fat frozen yogurt. I die.

Another great thing about freezers full of goodies? My grocery bill is relatively low this week, even though I shopped at Whole Foods (a rare treat). It's expensive there, but I'm single, which means I can buy whatever the hell I want (direct quote by whom, Mom?). Check out these gorgeous, local peaches that I got on sale!  And, to make this good day official, look what I get to have for lunch: cobb salad with avacado, bacon, egg, kalamata olives, tomatoes, and cucumber with homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

The Reservoir

As I pedaled furiously to work this morning I passed the Georgetown reservoir, which I ride/drive by constantly. It must have been the looming storm that caused the smell of lake and earth to surround me, and I could remember myself being at Linwood across the years, perched on my bike, smelling that same scent. I found myself staring across the front half of the reservoir, a recently-emptied pit of cement, and forced my eyes to focus on the mass of blue water behind it, rolling hills and blue sky along its border. Oh, to be floating in one of my lakes today!

I wish this ache to go home would leave me. The only time I don't feel a longing to be far away from where I am is when I'm surrounded by my friends. During the week those moments are rare- everyone is busy with their lives, which is true for me as well. There's something peaceful about living by myself, but lately I would trade my clean, decorated studio for a sink full of someone else's dishes just for the company. I need Schuyler!

Tonight's dinner: Baked tilapia in a curry-yogurt-lemon sauce with Indian Cabbage (I could eat this all day) and quinoa.

Ch-ch-changes...

I've been insprired recently by The Broccoli Hut, a blog about healthy eating and cooking. Caroline has so many creative breakfast recipes that I decided I needed to expand my oatmeal-flaxseed-brown sugar-blueberries staple to include other whole grain variations. So, at Trader Joe's I bought a huge bag of oat bran for only $2.99! The recommended serving size was 1/3 cup, so I increased it to 1/2 cup, of course. I put it in my glass tupperware with 2 cups of water and microwaved it for 4 minutes- the result was a soupy-thick cereal that looked like cream of wheat. I mixed in my standard ground flaxseed, a tab of salted butter, 2 scoops of brown sugar, and a handful of frozen wild blueberries (another change!). I didn't eat it until about 30 minutes later, after riding to work with the tupperware bungied to the back of my bike. Final review: I love oat bran! It tasted like oaty grits. I know, I know-  this meal wasn't revolutionary, but I promise it's the beginning of a beautiful era of amazing breakfast cereal combinations! Kiwi and coconut butter, perhaps? Peanut flour and raspberries? THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!


This picture doesn't necessarily capture the true glory of my breakfast...



Disaster Burgers

This was my second attempt at making veggie burgers, and once again, I failed. This past winter I made lentil burgers, which, try as I might, would not stick together in workable patties. On Wednesday I bravely attempted a black bean and mushroom burger that adamantly refused to form any sort of patty shape, let alone that thick, meaty consistency that only restaurants seem to be able to create. Perhaps the most frustrating part of both these experiences is that I had to spend 45 minutes chopping the ingredients into the tiniest of pieces- so much toil for so little reward! My kitchen was a mess when I finished, I was literally starving, and my product was totally unsatisfying. Here's the kicker- I made a huge batch so that I would have a lot left over to freeze. Great, I still have EIGHT black bean crumble balls available for my use.

My ingredients:

1/3 cup uncooked brown rice
2 cans black beans
10 oz. white mushrooms, finely chopped
1 onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 egg
1 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. paprika
Salt and black pepper to taste
and, at the last minute: cayenne and cheddar cheese (what?!)

I sauteed the onion in canola oil with the cumin and paprika for a couple minutes, then added the garlic. After another minute or so I added the mushrooms and cooked them until they released their juices (which is the coolest concept!) I ended up doing this in two batches because I have a ridiculously small frying pan, which probably added to my complete hysteria at the end of this experience.

Meanwhile, I had already cooked the brown rice in my rice cooker, and tried to mash it into the beans. I think ideally I was supposed to do this in a food processor (according to one of the recipes I looked at), so maybe that was part of the problem? Anyway, I just pounded the crap out of the beans for awhile, added the onion/mushroom mixture, and then continued to mash. I added salt and pepper, tasted it, added more, added cayenne, tasted it, gave up in frustration for a couple minutes, and then added an egg. At this point I was so hungry that I half-heartedly tossed a ball of the mixture onto the frying pan and tried to keep it contained in a patty-like shape while it cooked. After attempting to flip it a couple times I added some slices of cheddar, and then ate it with baked sweet potato and roasted kale. The meal itself tasted pretty good, but then again I was ravenous, so who really knows?

After eating, I went back to my bowl of veggie burger failure and added about a 1/4 cup of cheddar cheese (crumbled, for lack of grater). Then, I formed patties with the rest of the mixture and lined them on a greased baking sheet and baked them for 10 minutes at 375. I flipped them (I use this phrase liberally, since flipping the patties resulted in utter chaos on the baking sheet) and baked them a little longer. I wasn't really keeping track of time at this point because I was depressed, and still sort of hungry. My ultimate product looked okay- the patties almost kept their shape while I transferred them to tinfoil squares for wrapping and freezing. But, based on my previous experiences, I know they are bound to crumble at the first non-spatula touch, so I am bracing myself for several weeks of crumbly black bean concoctions.

Black bean burger salad: mixed with corn, edamame, grape tomatoes, and spinach with homemade balsamic vinaigrette. Delicious, but not exactly what I had envisioned for a veggie burger!

Growing up

Saturday I pulled myself out of bed at 6:15 to get ready for Westy's grandpa's funeral in Winchester, Virginia. It was a long drive, and there were four of us crammed in the back of Jamie's car, but we were happy to be together, and I felt oddly content as the hills rolled by us.

The church was catholic, and had beautiful stained glass windows and a cathedral ceiling. I was reminded of my own grandpa's funeral, and the things I missed about him. Hearing stories from Westy's mother and sisters about their "Pop" made me think about the way Grandpa laughed, and winked, and stood in the lawn smoking.

Grief is strange, and I rarely feel it now. I remember expecting to experience a couple weeks of intense pain, and being surprised by the way it lingered, and by the tears that would well up in my eyes unexpectedly because of a smell, or the way a blade of grass trembled in the evening sun. Being away from home forces me to push those moments away, because they're just too difficult to bear alone. On Saturday I let myself mourn a little bit again though, and it felt nice to miss him.

It made me remember how  I used to adore him, and my other grandparents, and how things are more complicated now. The way I interact with Grandma and Gamma is so different from how I interacted with them as a child, when spending time with them was such a treat. As I've gotten older I've had to grow accustomed to seeing them as real people instead of just grandmothers- now my time with them is permeated by all our imperfections.I wish I could somehow get back to my original, innocent perception of them, even if that seems a little dehumanizing. Or maybe I wish I could just accept Grandma and Gamma as I see them now, without it being a struggle to be kind. I want to to learn to miss them, so that when I come home I can love them as I should.

Rain, and White Bean Chili

When it rains here it's ferocious and fleeting; rarely that droopy, foggy-day rain that seems to characterize Ithaca. The storm today was a welcome break from the humid heat. I went and stood outside while it poured, breathing in 70-degree air for the first time in weeks.

When I got home I started on a soup I'd never made before: White Bean Chili. Here's my version of the recipe I found online:

Half an onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 1/2 cups water
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp pepper
8 oz chicken stock 
3 cans great northern beans
Half a package of frozen corn
1 can (4.5 oz) chopped green chiles
Half a lime
Cilantro
Cayenne pepper to taste

I sauteed the onions for a few minutes in some olive oil, and then added garlic. After letting the onions and garlic cook together for 2 minutes or so, I added the water and spices. I brought the pot to a boil, and then let it simmer for a little bit while I mashed up two cans of beans in the chicken stock- the recipe called for a blender, but alas, I am without mine! Mashing worked well, though; the soup had a great consistency at the end. I poured my bean/both mixture, the last can of beans, corn, and chiles into the pot and let the soup simmer for another 20 minutes before I tasted it and added some cayenne, which was just what it needed. After a few more minutes I squeezed half a lime into the chili, and stirred in some weird cilantro paste I bought because the grocery store had run out of fresh herbs (what? ugh I miss Wegmans). I ate the soup with brown rice and loved it! This recipe was enough for three meals for me; I froze one portion and will eat the other for lunch sometime in the next week. But what to do with all the extra chicken broth in my fridge... hmm.

Manager to Assistant

Working at Mimi's Attic seems like a distant memory now; it's hard to believe that I once was in charge of something so big, whether or not it was highly successful. I remember flitting around the store, dressed up and bossy, knowledgeable and sure of myself. I felt so empowered then- being given so much responsibility will do that to you, I guess.

The transition to being an assistant has been harder than I imagined it would be. I never really thought too much about that concept when I was getting ready to move, but it has been a huge struggle for me. I know that being the assistant to such an important woman is a huge honor, but it's hard to no longer feel any ownership for what I do. I suppose this will change a little as I get more involved in Deborah's research, and as I begin to take more responsibility in the office.

Today, Deborah noticed that I misspelled "Procter & Gamble" on a contract I sent to them, which is obviously really unprofessional and embarrassing. She was upset, of course, and I was really mad at myself about it, too. I don't know why I keep making small errors like this; I feel like I never made editing mistakes at Mimi's. Just the opposite, in fact- I was in charge of editing for both stores!

Some days I feel like I could spend all my time explaining myself, except I really can't think of much to say in defense of my mistakes. I just keep making them, which isn't me... is it?